Michael 'Frag' Florey...India 3/1

Rick Johnson... AmTrac CrewChief

The "Empty Eyes" of Veterans


 

See into the eyes of the man
Who made it home from Vietnam
He's seen too much, suffered too much
Pushed too far from the common man's touch
Since his return, he's been trying to find
That ever-elusive peace of mind...
 
Look into his blank eyes hollowed deep
Where darkened horrors are buried to keep
Untamed secrets which make strong men weep

In patriotic honor, deeds of courage he once cast
These brave young men, grown up too fast
Remembering a war long ago past
With unlucky brothers who's time didn't last.
 
These veterans of war know life's true meaning
In combat these brothers bond is beyond all perceiving
In the midst of battle there is no time for grieving
Its get your bro out, or no one is leaving
Its days, weeks or years that Wide eyes are lost
Saddened with trauma at war's torturous cost
Numbly unable to focus on a present task at hand
Instead he sees fiendish horrors, he knows he cannot stand

Sensory overload in wartime veterans Makes them feel no one is caring
They feel used and then discarded, where once they felt so daring
A troubled world in a warrior's mind makes it hard to keep surviving 
From Vietnam to Afghanistan and in Iraq these men are dying
Some lose their lives, some lose their mind and some just keep on trying

Trying hard to drown these thoughts that will not go away,
The Voices echo in his mind, it seems they are here to stay
His empty eyes shield memories that are trying to unfold
Each night the war comes back to him, the battle to behold
In his sleep he'll toss and turn tormented by his pain
The loss of brothers plays each night, surviver's guilt remains
Burned out scenes every night he sees, until the sun does rise
Another day of shattered pain, reflected in his eyes

These patriotic men of America fight to keep our country free
The emptiness within their eyes holds more than we can see
Their pain-racked eyes have been to lands so very far from home
Eyes opened wide by fear of war and enemies unknown
Lost is the innocence of the boy, he has grown to be a man
The realistic awareness that comes from war is much to understand
Please pray he is blessed from God above, and granted some release
To live in a world for which he fought so all can live in peace 

I hear the sounds of Vietnam
Still after all the years
I talk with friends, especially Bros
With smoke and shots and beers.

A spoken word, a different sound
Inferred but not implied
A smell, a bird, an airplane
Something wells me up inside.

A unit said or ships afloat
Med cruise and BLT's ashore
Lets loose inherent feelings
Hidden deep, theres many more.

I'm not alone, they say
Many times I hear in bed
I feel that way, alone I mean
And will until I'm dead.

I've been listening and feeling
The pain and thoughts and fear
My family doesn't, my friends don't
Know whats gone on all these years.

I'll live with them, and query
Oh Bro's upon the wall
Wish it was me in black granite
Standing Proud and Standing Tall.

Martin J Lawler

Some Bros have......

the knack of putting into perspective their combat experiences. This is their page.

Night Patrol




Some nights when I awake in fear

The thunder rolling from silent skies
In darkened room my 'Brothers' near
Stare back with young and vacant eyes.

Sometimes their voices call to me
The soldiers of forgotten war
In unison they cry out load
Remember us forever more.

The sights, smells and sounds since gone
Forgotten battles of long since past
In vivid room they play 'til dawn
Until they march away at last.

You'd think with years this man would age
The understand the price back then
Except these feelings in the cage
Resurface time and time again.

I accept the simple fact
Won't ever leave me all alone
Steadfastly loyal, watch my back
Young Soldiers
Welcome to my Home.

Courtesy of Dave Jones...11Bravo

http://www.geocities.com/11bravovet

 

MAYBE THEN


Something my wife said to me today made me realize that our families have been
going through this all alone with us, not knowing what THIS is. All we
can do is love them in return, and ask them to forgive us if we are
different than they remembered us, or find we are different from those
around us.

We have a hard time trusting, to include wife's, girlfriends, family and
friends. The only trust we remember is our brothers to our left and
right, ahead of us and to our backs. We remember things like laying in
a rice paddy, our brothers next to us ready to defend our right to be
alive. Big brother only a radio call away, ready to send in the Air
Strikes, Arty, or the Medavac's, should we need them if the shit
gets too bad. We knew somewhere our brothers were on alert standing
by, ready to jump on a Helo and come help or get us if we should call.
And they would come, NO QUESTIONS ASKED.

We remember holding our brothers in our arms while he is dying, not
knowing how to push his guts back in and make his wound go away, and
screaming for DOC cause he would know what to do. And please forgive
us if tears should appear for no reason. We are remembering something
one of our brothers had said that was funny and we are only missing
this brother.

Please forgive us if the tears start flowing and we have to leave the
room because we cannot control our self’s. We are only remembering a
brother that was lost and only last night we had shared your picture
with him because he got no mail that day.

Please forgive us if we stare at something and seem to be lost to your
presents or speech. Our eyes are not working at this moment and our
minds are very far away and we can not tell you where. Please forgive
our screams at night and our restless sleep. We are in a fire fight
back in Vietnam. We will be all right in the morning and will help you
put the sheets and blankets back on the bed.

Please forgive us if we prefer our Pork-n-Beans, Sliced Peaches, or
Fruit Cocktail right out of the can while sitting on the floor or in
the grass, they just taste better that way. And we know it looks funny
when we pull out our key ring and use our P-38's to open these cans. Or
search the whole kitchen to find a plastic spoon to eat them with, then
suck the spoon clean and stick it in our shirt pocket.

Forgive us if we take you out to eat and insist on a corner table or
booth. Something to put our back's against. We wish we could tell you why
we don't like crowds. Is it because we are afraid too many will fall if
something bad should happen? Is it because we do not know who in this
crowd can be trusted? Or is it because if something bad should happen in
this crowd, we have no weapon to protect you with.

Please forgive us if we don't tell you these things, we know you can't
understand them. And maybe one day we can find one of our brothers and
we may let you sit in on our stories. Maybe then you might understand...
MAYBE THEN!!!!!


SEMPER-FI
RED DOG
Copyright 1999 by David T. Roberts
_________________
 
 
When I Sleep
 
Things are missing, I feel strange
I can't remember my Brother's name
Their faces, I see clear
I hear their pain, I feel their fears
 
I close my eyes and hear them say
Ain't no thang, tomorrow's another day
Let it go. He'll be alright
The Corpsman's here, we have to fight
 
I check the perimeter, the night's too still
The gooks wouldn't dare attack our hill
The night patrol is in the wire
The password's met, hold your fire
 
I'm scared to death, I'm soaking wet
I said a name, please don't forget
I wake up, I'm in my bed
With this damn war, in my head
 
I can't give it up, and I won't try
Without these dreams, I would die
I'll see them later, in the week
When once again, I try to sleep
 
Red Dog 1/2000
David T. Roberts
 
 
At home they wait...                                                  
 
He awakes each day in-country
Sometimes just for the day
Other times at night for guard Duty
Another time to ready for a 'Hump' for an Op
 
At home in 'The World', his Parents wait
 
At first, it's 13 months, 395 days
Time goes on, days pass...375 days left
A Brother falls, he thinks of the Mom at home
The Olive Drab Plymouth that brings the telegram
 
At home in 'The World' a Parent's wait is over
The Sorrow and weeping can be felt
on the other side of the Globe
His Parents still wait
 
As time goes by, and more Ops
More Brothers fall, 300 days to go
He's lost 30 pounds, his eyes are hollow
His body aches, another Bro falls
 
At home in 'The World', his Parents wait
 
Neighborhoods fill with those
Olive Drab Plymouths, more Parents weep
As the cars go by their homes
They pray, 'Not Here'
 
200 Days to go, half-way there
More Bros fall, there time is over
No time for him to greive, a job needs finished
Body doesn't ache any longer, just numb
 
100 days left, stay focused
His hell is nothing, compared to
The hell of 'The Wait' his Parent's
Are enduring, in 'The World'
 
Salty as hell now, senses are tingling
His shit's wired tight, can smell 'charlie'
No sweat, only 30 days to go
15 days now, time to leave the 'bush'
 
At Home, their wait is almost over
No Olive Drab car has been seen
'He's safe' they say, not long now
Our Son will be home soon
 
In-country, one foolish step
One missed sign, too 'short' for this
His world explodes, the smell of cordite
Sand and dust, fill the air
 
At Home in 'The World' time has come
The Olive Drab Plymouth sedan
Pulls into the drive, his Mother
Just returning from work, shouts 'NO'
 
Assurances fail to calm his grief stricken Mother
She screams at the 'Uniforms' "Go away"
"I want my Son", she will not accept
The news that day, Western Union delivers
 
In-country, he's in Charlie Med
Schrapnel and burns, but alive
Bandages and full leg cast
Enough time to 'check out'
 
Returning 'Home', feeling glad
But empty at the same time
At Home, they wait no longer
He waits forever, till all his Bros
Come Home
 
 

Pain

Of all the words I try to write in understanding of Bros,
I found today there's so much more that I still want to know.
I read a page, from a Teddy Bear, that truly ripped my heart
He spoke of nighmares, of fellow Bros
from whom he can't depart.

The screams in the night, the sweat on his brow
and blood still pumping fast.
His wife shakes him and tries to wake him
from the horrible past.
But he screams at her to let him be,
for the Bros are speaking to him.
And he just needs to be within his dream,
although the dream is grim.

"WAKE UP! WAKE UP! YOU'RE DREAMING AGAIN",
but he pushes her aside.
He's trying to communicate with all the Bros,
all the ones who died!
They look so young, yet he has aged
and he wonders if he was there.
Was he that young…just a boy,
with a head so full of hair?

So much time has come and gone,
yet nightmares take him back
To a time in his life he'll never forget,
of circumstance and fact.
He lives and breathes those Vietnam days,
and much to his surprise
Those of us who love him so
can see it in his eyes.

I know I'll never truly know
exactly how they feel,
But they have got to know my love for them
is so very real.
Although the cage is locked up tight,
I'll always be right there
To be a rock for them to lean…
their troubles I want to share.

I love you all!!
©Nita ~ 8-25-99